If you are having a little trouble in the bedroom, here are six great ways to improve your sex life.
Even for the most deeply in love couples, the stressors of everyday life can take their toll on intimacy. This can be especially true for couples who have been together for a long time and are getting older. The physical changes that come as we get age, along with a sense of complacency and familiarity, can all make couples feel that they are in a sexual rut. But here are some sure-fire tips from sexual wellness experts that can help get those juices flowing again and reignite that old flame. And even if your sex life is good, these six ways to better sex can make it that much better!
- Try something new – One of the surest ways that experts say spice up things in the bedroom is to try something new – and that doesn’t necessarily mean a new position or sexual activity. Anything new and exciting that you haven’t done before can trigger your brain’s dopamine release, which can increase arousal.
“Doing something new creates a sense of bonding and intimacy. Think outside of the box and do an activity that might scare you or excite you, like an amusement park ride or an escape room,” advises Sunny Megatron, sex educator and co-host of the American Sex Podcast. “You will create dopamine and duplicate the same feelings you had in the honeymoon phase of your relationship.”
- Give yourself time – As you get older, your sexual responses inevitably slow down. You and your partner can improve your chances of success by finding a quiet, comfortable, interruption-free setting for sex. Also, understand that the physical changes in your body mean that you’ll need more time to get aroused and reach orgasm. When you think about it, spending more time having sex isn’t a bad thing; working these physical necessities into your lovemaking routine can open up doors to a new kind of sexual experience.
- Keep up the physical attention – Even if you’re tired, tense, or upset about having sexual issues, or are overwrought about work, bills, and other things that can be causing your bedroom blues, even if you are having trouble with actual intercourse, the experts say that engaging in kissing and cuddling is essential for maintaining an emotional and physical bond.
- Check out an erotic movie – You don’t have to go for hardcore porn (although some couples find this exciting), but you can and should curl up and “chill” with an erotic movie. Watching erotica with your partner is a great way to become aroused and to also see what it that they find exciting or titillating.
- Explore and write down your fantasies – This exercise can help you explore possible activities you think might be a turn-on for you or your partner. Try thinking of an experience or a movie that aroused you, and then share your memory with your partner. This is especially helpful for people with low desire.
- Try Kegel exercises – Both men and women can improve their sexual fitness by exercising their pelvic floor muscles. To do these exercises, tighten the muscle you would use if you were trying to stop urine in midstream. Hold the contraction for two or three seconds, then release. Repeat 10 times. Try to do five sets a day. These exercises can be done anywhere — while driving, sitting at your desk, or standing in a checkout line. At home, women may use vaginal weights to add muscle resistance. Talk to your doctor or a sex therapist about where to get these and how to use them.
And finally, take the time to discuss intimacy issues with your partner. If you are having some sexual difficulties, chances are there is some other issue at the root of the problem. Don’t get discouraged by what your partner says. Just remember that discovering what’s wrong in your relationship is part of making an effort to improve it.